Well, one of the big things of my life... perhaps I'm over thinking this... was one of my pets. Not a cat or dog or parrot (shiver), but rather a faithful hypnopet.
Earlier last year, I found him over a hypnosis message board. His post intrigued me and touched on a number of my interests with hypnosis. I'm don't proclaim to be an amazing hypnotist, but I offered to work with him if he wanted. However, I did not think I would be able to offer a lot of my time, perhaps an hour a week or so, considering I myself was trying to get hypnotized on a regular basis, and life and work was thrown into the mix.
It was down to myself and 2 other hypnotists. I was not chosen. With my spotty experience with hypnosis, my general nervousness and distrust of a lot of online 'tists, I kept in touch with him, letting him know if anything was wrong he had someone there to help.
As it turns out, the hypnotist he selected stopped talking to him after 2 weeks. A week after that, he was notified that the 'tist couldn't work with him anymore, due to working with someone else. I felt sorry for the guy and offered to work with him.
He was an AMAZING subject. He took to trance and suggestions like a duck to water. We found we really enjoyed each other and soon we were talking just about every day. He was talented, imaginative and fun.
After a while we agreed he would be my pet. I sent him a collar. My collar. Not only was it my collar for him, but it was the collar I wore for someone else before. Though at that point it was being neglected. He took it, and wore it with love for me. And I loved my pet. He helped me get through a rough time with an abusive girlfriend and even was one of the last things that helped me get out.
We continued for many months, relationships in his life changed, grew, evolved. Everything culminated to me getting a chance to visit him. Schedules got a little skewed, and I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked, and yet, we spent nearly 3 days together... and they were amazing, he was amazing.
That last morning, when I dropped him off, I cried. I cried and cried. I had a long drive home, somewhere over 6 hours... and I pretty much cried the entire way home. I knew that it would be a while until I could see him again. I was just getting over it all when I got home. Shortly after he contacted me and asked to be released.
Of course I won't hold him against his will, and his reasons were just and honorable. <.< I've been pretty crushed since. Since this happened in September, I've been battling loneliness and longing. I know what isn't to be, but that doesn't stop it coming does it?
I've found the best thing to do has been to be with friends, but you can only do that so much right? They have their own lives and everything... and the times these feelings hit me strongest are when I'm driving alone in my car. Come on, I'm a Los Angeles commuter... that's ALL THE TIME.
I'm dealing, wondering if he's ever thinking of me... I know... I KNOW he's not thinking of me as much as I think of him, but that's my problem.
I'm trying to get everything back on track... I'm trying to be social outside my circles, but it's just not something I've ever really done before... so I'm lonely. Those feelings don't hit me as OFTEN. But they still do.
I've got some amazing friends, online and off, who have been supportive, even though I've probably been a whiney bitch. To be honest I never felt as close and connected with my ex of 5 years, as I had with this person.
Which comes down to what I need and want. Someone suggested making a list of what I'm looking for in a person/significant other/mate. So here are some further thoughts.
They should love me, and especially like me.
They should be able to make decisions at times, when I'm not feeling up to it.
They should share, or accept my interests, especially those I'm afraid to tell my friends.
They should be funny and have a sense of humor, odd, quirky and fun.
They should take life seriously, but be able to look at it from a different angle.
They should, and this is important, be able to cuddle with me, hold me, be held by me. I know this seems silly, but I was in a relationship with someone I couldn't be on the same couch with without them yelling at me.
There's more but it's late and these are some of the big ones.
I'm a good guy, and so is he. The person he's with though, better love him like no one's ever loved anyone before, because then dealing with all of this will be worth it.
